Did you hear about the crossword puzzle maker died?
He was buried 6 down and 3 across.
Q: What is it that, the harder you run, the harder it is to catch?
A: Your breath.
Signs that scientists have gone too far with genetically modified food:
*Your hot dog just fetched its own ketchup and relish.
*You spot the tell-tale signs of a primitive central nervous system in you Jell-O.
*Chocchini: looks like zucchini, tastes like a chocolate Ding Dong.
*The black-eyed peas on your fork just winked at you.
*Every time you pour a glass of orange juice, your garage door goes up.
What did the one mirror say to the other mirror?
It's all done with people.