Latest Jokes

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'?"

A woman walks into a store that sells expensive rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she accidentally breaks wind. Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident. She turns and sees that standing next to her is a salesman.

"Hello M'am. How may I help you today?"

Very uncomfortable she asks, "Sir, how much does this rug cost?"

He answers, "Well, you broke wind just touching it. I'm anxious to see what happens when you hear the price."

Of all my wife's relatives, the only ones I can stand to be around are her in-laws.