Latest Jokes

Do you know what I heard?

Sheep.

A security patrol officer in a senior gated community stopped an elderly gentleman in a speeding golf cart. "Sir, do you know your wife fell out of your golf cart when you hit that last speed bump?"

"Oh, that is wonderful officer", replied. "I am so relieved."

"Didn't you hear me? Your wife fell out of the cart!" the officer said in astonishment.

"You don't understand, I could not hear a thing for the last ten minutes... I thought I had gone deaf."

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple.

But with extremely limited memory.

Just 1 byte.

Then everything crashed.

When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech. He began by reading from his prepared text.

"I want to talk about my mother and the wonderful influence she has had on my life," he told the audience. "She is a shining example of parenthood, and I love her more than words could ever do justice."

At this point he seemed to struggle for words. After a pause, he looked up with a sly grin and said, "Sorry, but it's really hard to read my mother's handwriting."