Latest Jokes

A woman from New York was getting her affairs in order. She prepared her will and made her final arrangements. As part of these arrangements she met with her pastor to talk about what type of funeral service she wanted, etc.

She told her pastor she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdale's.

"Bloomingdale's!" the pastor said. "Why Bloomingdale's?"

"That way, I know my daughters will visit me twice a week."

A robber was found wounded in an electronics store...

He tried breaking in from the roof but unfortunately for him, he fell on a 'Sharp' TV.

Worried that his son was spending too much money on dates, a father asked the boy how much his last date had cost.

The son thought for a minute and then replied, "Oh, about $15 I think."

"Well," said the father, "I'm proud of you for finally coming up with an inexpensive evening."

"To be honest Dad," the son went on, "we'd have spent more, but that was all the money she had."

How many unemployed actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Six. One to screw it in and the rest to say they could've done it better.