Latest Jokes

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. "Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently." "I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?" "Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother'? It would make me feel so much better." "Sure," answered the young man.
As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother!" As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50. "How can that be?" He asked, "I only purchased a few things!" "Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.

A man walks into a doctor’s office with a stick of celery in one ear, a carrot in the other and a grape up his nose. Confused, the man asks: "Doctor what's wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and replies: "You're not eating properly!"

A man walks into a doctor’s office with a stick of celery in one ear, a carrot in the other and a grape up his nose. Confused, the man asks: "Doctor what's wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and replies: "You're not eating properly!"

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.

Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single step!"

"So?" asked the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"