Teacher: "Okay class, what is the value of Pi?"

Student: "Well, it's not an exact number but usually it's around $12.99."

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots, fall out."

As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention. The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye to eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow.

The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"

It's game 7 of the NBA basketball finals and a man makes his way to his seat at center court. He sits down and notices that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone is sitting there. He responds, "No, the seat's empty."

"The first man exclaims, "What?!?! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the NBA finals and not use it?"

The neighbor responds, "Well the seat is mine, but my wife passed away and this is the first NBA finals we haven't been together."

The first man responds," I'm sorry to hear that. Wasn't there anyone else, a friend or relative, that could've taken that seat?"

The neighbor responds, "No, they're all at the funeral."

A couple was having a discussion about family finances.

Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!"

The wife replied, "Honey, if it weren't for your money, you wouldn't be here!"