A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree exclaims, "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."

I saw a man stealing groceries the other day while on the shoulders of a couple of vampires.

He got charged with shoplifting on two counts.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.

The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"

And they respond: "Yes." "Oui." "Sí." "Ja."

Lawyer: "Is it a crime to throw sodium in your enemy's eyes?"

Judge: "Yes, that's assault."

Lawyer: "I know it's a salt but is it a crime?"