A lady was taking her first golf lesson. She asked the instructor, "Is the word spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?"
"P-u-t-t is correct," he replied. "P-u-t means to place something where you want it. P-u-t-t means, merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."
Father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody tells a lie. The son comes home in the afternoon.
Father asks him, “So, you were at school today, right?”
Son: “OK, OK, I was at the movies.”
Son: “Alright, I went for a beer with my friends.”
Father: “What?! At your age, I wouldn’t touch alcohol!“
Mother laughs: “Ha! He really is your son!”