Boyfriend: "Honey, on this Valentine's Day, I want to tell you something... I'm not rich like Robert. I don't have a mansion like Gary. I don't have a Porsche like Martin. But I do love you and I want to marry you."

Girlfriend: "Oh dear, I love you too... what was that you said about Martin?"

Ashlea: I told you, I'm on a strict plant-based diet.

John: Don't worry, these burgers are all plant-based.

Ashlea: Mmm... this is delicious. What plant is this from?

John: Meat-packing plant.