Did you hear about the guy who froze to death at the drive-in?

He went to see "Closed for the Winter".

I tried to get into a trendy New York nightclub last night.

The doorman said to me, "Sorry sir, you've had too many."

Confused, I replied, "What, drinks?"

"No, sir, birthdays!"

Our 26-year-old son moved back home with the idea to stock away money to buy a condo. We never bothered asking how long he'd planned to stay, but I got a pretty good idea when I walked into his room recently.

In the corner was a milk jug with a few coins in it and a label that read: "Condo Down Payment"