It must be almost Christmas....

.... because I just saw Easter eggs for sale.

When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.

Now I'm homeless.

I told my boss, “Sorry I’m late. I was having computer issues.”

"Hard drive?" he asked.

"No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop."

I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic.

He said, "Sure, knock yourself out!"