D-Gellybean Profile

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D-Gellybean

User Details

Member Since : Feb, 2016
# of jokes posted : 1442
# of followers : 27
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 2
Location: United States
won: $ 2540.00
$6.00 won 2 votes

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2016 when...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they
don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic, and you turn around to go and get it .

10. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
$15.00 won 3 votes

An Army brat was boasting about his father to a Navy brat. “My dad is an engineer. He can do anything. You know the Alps? Well, it was my dad who built them!”

“That’s nothing,” said the Navy brat. “You know the Dead Sea? Well, it was my dad who killed it!”

3 votes

CATEGORY Military Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
$10.00 won 3 votes

Seeing his shares plummet on a black morning during the recession, the boss called to his secretary, “Get my broker, Miss Wilks!”

”Certainly, sir. Stock or pawn?”

3 votes

CATEGORY Money Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
$25.00 won 5 votes
rating rating rating rating rating
 

I once went to Barnes & Noble. I asked the lady working there, “Where is the self-help section?”

She said, “That would defeat the purpose.”

5 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |