After crossing the road, the chicken goes up to James Bond and asks him, "What's your name?"

"Bond, James Bond. What is yours?"

"Ken, Chick Ken."

I thought the dryer shrank my clothes...

Turns out it was the refrigerator.

If God had wanted me to touch my toes...

He would have put them on my knees!

Dear Alcohol,

We had a deal... you would make me prettier, funnier and a better dancer. I just saw the video of the company Christmas party.

WE NEED TO TALK!