maryjones Profile

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maryjones

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2018
# of jokes posted : 456
# of followers : 4
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 1
Location: United States
won: $ 1172.00
$9.00 won 10 votes

The soldier asked for a furlough so that he might get married. "How long have you known this girl," the sergeant asked.

"A week."

"Why, my lad, that's not long enough. I suggest you wait a couple of months, and then, if you still want to get married I will approve the furlough."

Two months later the soldier was back, reminding the sergeant of his promise.

"So you still want to get married? I didn't think that a young man would stay interested in the same girl for a couple of months."

"I know, sir. But this isn't the same girl."

10 votes

CATEGORY Military Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$15.00 won 8 votes

A climate scientist and a climate-change denier walk into a bar. The climate-change denier goes to the bartender and asks for the strongest drink in the house.

The bartender takes out a bottle and says, "This is Absinthe, about 75% alcohol. Can I sell you a glass?"

The climate-change denier gets all upset and leaves the bar in a huff. The climate scientist says to the bartender, "Those climate-change deniers! You can show them the proof but they still won't buy it!

8 votes

Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$10.00 won 4 votes

My wife has weekly lessons with Satan on how to be more evil...

I can vouch that what ever she charges him is well worth it!

4 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$50.00 won 13 votes
 

Two friends met on the street after not having seen each other for some time, One of them was on crutches.

"Hello!" said the other man. "Why are you on crutches?"

"Car accident," said the man on crutches.

"When did that happen?"

"Oh, about six weeks ago."

"And you still have to be on crutches?"

"Well, my doctor says I could get along without them. My lawyer says I can't."

13 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "maryjones" |