One Saturday Little Johnny went fishing at a pond that was close to his house. After a couple hours of fishing the owner of the pond approached and indicated to Little Johnny that there was a "No Fishing" sign.
Little Johnny replied, "Well the fellow that printed that sign knew what he was talking about."
On a recent flight to Chicago it seemed that all the departure times were coming and going.
I inquired to the ticket agent, "What good are the departure times?"
"Well," began the genial agent, "if it weren't for those posted departure times we'd have no way of finding out how late we depart."
The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions.
"Ever have an accident?"
"Nope, nary a one."
"None? You've never had any accidents."
"Nope. Ain't had one. Never."
"Well, you said in this form you were bitten by a snake once. Wouldn't you consider that an accident?"
"Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose."