maryjones Profile

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maryjones

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2018
# of jokes posted : 456
# of followers : 4
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 1
Location: United States
won: $ 1172.00
$5.00 won 9 votes
 

Overheard at my local fish market...

Fussy Patron: “I don’t like the looks of that codfish.”

Market Manager: “Well, if you want looks, why don’t you buy a gold fish?”

9 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$10.00 won 8 votes

"You in the back of the room, what was the date of the signing of the Magna Carter?"

"I dunno."

"You don't? Well let's try this. Who was Bonny Prience Charley?"

"I dunno."

"Well, tell me what the Tennis Court Oath was?"

"I dunno."

"I assigned this stuff last Friday. What were you doing this last weekend?"

"I was out drinking beer and fishing with friends."

"You were? What audacity to stand there and tell me a thing like that? How do you ever expect to pass this course?"

"I don't. I just came in to fix the radiator."

8 votes

CATEGORY College Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$9.00 won 7 votes

On the first day of class the chemistry professor was asking around the room the elements in the periodic table. "Jones, what does HNO3 signify?

Jones, searching for the answer replied, "Well, ah, I've got it right on the tip of my tongue, sir."

Professor: "Well, you better spit it out. It's nitric acid."

7 votes

CATEGORY College Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$15.00 won 7 votes

I was observing two men that were working for the public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in.

After a while I had to ask, "Why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"

The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the lad who plants the trees called in sick."

7 votes

CATEGORY Work Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "maryjones" |