80% of my couch fell on my foot today...
Me: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present.
Cop: You ARE the lawyer.
Lawyer: So where’s my present?
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night...
Went to the gym and there's a new machine.
I used it for an hour and felt sick.
Its good though, it does everything.
Kit Kats, Mars bars, Snickers, etc...