At a first date:

He: “I work with animals every day.”

She: “Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?”

He: “I’m a butcher."

What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth?

The slow swimmer.

Did a little mechanical work today...

I put a rear end in a recliner.

ME: "I will take $50 on pump one please..."

BARTENDER: "Sir, please get your mouth off the keg!"