misc jokes

Tom, Dick and Harry were traveling in the desert. Arriving at a small village they could find nowhere to sleep but a strange inn whose landlord, though willing to take them in for the night, would offer only a bed of fire, a bed of nails, and a bed of fleas.
In the morning, they compared notes over breakfast. The bed of fire was awful,” said Tom. “Very uncomfortable. I didn’t sleep a wink, and I’m scorched all over.”
“I had a bad night, too,” said Dick. “That bed of nails was dreadful. I’m covered with holes.”
“I slept fine,” declared Harry. “My bed of fleas was no trouble at all. I just killed one flea and all the rest went to the funeral!”

Damien was being severely scolded by his father for fighting. "Now, Damien" said his angry father, "This will not do! You must learn that you can't have everything you want in this life. There must always be give and take."
"But there was Dad!" protested the aggressive youngster. "I gave him a black eye and took the apple!"

Little Jackie’s mother was on the telephone with the child’s dentist.
“I don’t understand it,” she complained “I thought his treatment would only cost $20.00, but you have charged me $80.00.”
“It is usually $20.00, madam,” agreed the dentist, “but Jackie yelled so loudly that three of my other patients ran away

"Hey, cabby! How much to take me to the station?"

"Five bucks, sir."

"And how much for my suitcase?"

"No charge for the suitcase, sir."

"Okay. Take the case and I'll walk."