misc jokes

Two guys were fishing on the Ohio River. One catches the biggest catfish either one has ever seen. He says to his buddy, “We need to remember this spot so we can come back here again.” His buddy pulls a pen out of his pocket and makes a big ‘X’ on the bottom of his boat. The first guy looks at his buddy, shaking his head in disgust. “You idiot- what if we bring another boat next time?”

Two brothers John and Mike went fishing, every time John threw his hook he caught a
fish but Mike was very unlucky. By the end of the day John had caught more than
twenty fish but Mike had caught nothing. Next day Mike woke up very early in the morning, dressed in John's clothes and carried John's hook. He went to the river and sat where John was seating yesterday. He threw the hook and waited. Darkness
cleared and the sun rose, after about 4 hours of his waiting a fish popped out and asked him "where is John?"

Out in the middle of nowhere a UFO drops out of the sky at a gas station. The aliens, not concerned, go out of the ship. The ship even has the letters UFO emblazoned on the side. While the owner of the station stands speechless, his young employee goes and fills up their tank and even waves as they pull off.

After they’re gone the owner looks shocked at his employee. He says, "Do you realize what just happened?"

"Yeah?” he replied?

"Didn’t you see the letters UFO?"

"Yeah,” he repeats, "and?"

"Do you know what that means?"

"Gee boss, I've been working here for 5 years, of course I know what it means! It means 'Unleaded Fuel Only'."

If you were from Mc Donalds, I would call you McBeautiful.