Max Factor mascara makes eyelashes appear three times longer...
They should make condoms.
Me: How much are tickets?
Ticketmaster: They’re $55 each.
Me: Ok I’ll take two.
TM: Great that’ll be $847.83.
Superman once wrote on the wall: "Batman is a wimp!"
The next day Batman wrote: "Superman is Clark Kent."
If you were born in 1983 and remember Red Red Wine...
Then UB40