Best Jokes

A visitor comes into a Maryborough pub with a tame crocodile at his heels and ordered a drink. The locals looked at the crocodile and it suddenly went up to someone's hat, which was sitting on a chair, and chewed it to shreds.
The hat's owner shouted at the visitor, "Hey look at what your crocodile has done to my hat."
The visitor replied, "That's too bad!" The hat owner got angry and said, "I don't like your attitude!"
The visitor replied, "It's not my (h)at (h)e chewed - it's your hat he chewed!"

What did the math teacher say to Dracula after he failed the math test?

"Can't you Count Dracula?"

I'm trying to plan a party for my girlfriend, but I can't seem to find any party hats, or a girlfriend.

Women always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.

Then they call me ugly and poor.