Best Jokes

A charity worker knocked on Mrs Smiths door and said " Hello, I'm collecting for a home for drunkards. Can you donate anything?".

"Yes" replied Mrs Smith "If you come back after closing time you can have my husband".

This guy was drinking at the bar counter. Every time he took a drink he would pull something from his pocket and look at it. Eventually the curiosity of the bartender got the better of him and he asked the guy what he is looking at. He replied: I’ve got a picture of my wife in my pocket and when she begins to look good I know I have had enough.

Rick, my husband, and I had a hectic holiday schedule encompassing careers, teenagers, shopping, and all the required doings of the season.

Running out of time, I got the stationer to print our signature on our Christmas cards, instead of signing each one.

Soon we started getting cards from friends signed "The Modest Morrisons,"

"The Clever Clarks," and "The Successful Smiths."

Then it hit me.

I had mailed out a hundred cards neatly imprinted with "Happy Holidays from the Rich Armstrongs."

What do you call a three legged dog?

Tripod!

What do you call a two legged dog?

Bipod!

What do you call a one legged dog?

Pogo!