Best Jokes

Ad outside a store specializing in jeans-wear: "Ladies have fits upstairs".

Charlie took his girl friend to her first football game. They had really good seats, right above their team's bench. At the end of the game, Charlie asked her if she liked it.

"Yeah, it was great," she said. "I mean, with all the tight pants and stuff. I just don't get why all the fuss about a quarter!"

Charlie is confused. "A quarter?"

"At the beginning of the game," she explained, "I saw the two guys flip a quarter. Then the rest of the game, all they said was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' Hello! It's only 25 cents!"

Looking at an optical mouse, an idiot said,
"Look! They are making everything solar these days."

A game warden noticed his elderly neighbor was going fishing every mourning without any fishing tackle only a silver lunch box. When he returned in the evening he would always have a stringer full of fish. The game warden was curious on how he was catching his fish. He asked the elderly neighbor how he caught so many fish. The man replied he would show him if he would like to go with him the following mourning. The Game warden replied he would love to go. The following mourning they hooked up his boat and the old man had his silver lunch box with him as usual. They launched the boat and in the middle of the lake the old man stopped the boat opened his lunch box took out a stick of dynamite lit it and through into the lake. Seconds later fish came floating up the game warden was shocked and told the old man that was illegal. The old man calmly lit another stick of dynamite handed it to the game warden, then asked him well are you going to fish or just cut bait.