Best Jokes

A server walks over to a table and gets ready to deliver the check to a guy. The guy asks the server do you take checks and the server said, I? no sir I am sorry. The guy replies neither do I

An Antartican was in the therapist office:
Dr. Hieden: Why are you here?
Antartican: I tried to commit suicide by taking 1,000 aspirins!!!!
Dr. hieden: What happened?
Antartican: Well after the first two I felt better!!!!

A Cub Scout troop was half an hour late to its den meeting. The den mother asked them severely, “Why are you so late?”

“Oh,” said one boy, “we were helping an old man cross the street.”

“That’s a nice thing for scouts to do,” said the mother. She paused. “But it shouldn’t make you half an hour late.”

“Well, you see,” said another boy, “he didn’t want to go.”

A third grader that got into trouble from time to time was in the principal’s office for a quiet talking to. “And Peter,” asked the principal, “how do yu like your teacher? Do you get along all right?’
“Oh, yes sir,” replied Peter. “ I think she’s the cream of the coop.”