Best Jokes

Two buddies are fishing, but they haven’t caught anything all day. Then, another fisherman walks by with a huge load of fish. They ask him "excuse me, but where did you get all those fish?"
The other fisherman replies,” If you just go down the stream until the water isn't salty, there are a ton of hungry fish."
They thank him and go on their way. 15 minutes later, one fisherman says to the other "fill the bucket up with water and see if the water is salty."
He dips the bucket in the stream and drinks some. "Nope. Still salty." 30 minutes later, he asks him to check again.
"Nope, still salty." One our later they check again. "Nope. Still salty."
"This isn't good," the fisherman finally says. "We have been walking for almost two hours and the water is still salty!"
"I know," says the other. "And the bucket is almost empty!"

The economy is not going well and an unemployed engineer desperately needing work is nervous about an upcoming accountant job interview. The interview goes well, but as the engineer stands up to leave the manager says, "Oh just one more question. How much is four times eight?" Puzzled, the engineer responds that in all calculations, even simple ones like that, he never relies on his memory. He always uses a calculator with a paper printout, and double-checks his answer. "Fine", says the manager, but I just want you to tell me the answer anyway from memory without using your calculator. "Sure," says the engineer. "Four times eight is, uh, thirty-four." After saying goodbye and leaving the building, the engineer hurriedly pushes up four times eight into his calculator and curses when he sees the answer.

Nonetheless, he gets the job. Six months later, when he's doing well and feels confident enough, he walks up to his boss and asks him. "Sir, I'm curious. Why is it that out of all those engineering candidates, you hired me, when I gave you the wrong answer to four-times-eight?" His boss looks up and says, "Your answer was the closest."

While W.C. Fields was walking down the street a man came up to him and said, "you're drunk." W.C. Fields replied "you're crazy, I'll be sober tomorrow, but you'll be crazy the rest of your life!"

knock knock
who's there
oddley hee
oddley hee who
I didn't know you could yodel!