Best Jokes

John who was not very well paid, yet who had several children learned a distressing piece of news from his wife Linda. The next morning he called his insurance agent to ask a weighty question, to which the insurance agent replied, “No, John, Linda’s pregnancy is not covered by your accident policy.”

A little girl complained that she didn’t want to go back to school.
“But why, Lisa?” asked her mother.
“Well, I can’t read, I can’t write, and they won’t let me talk.”

A high-school student came home from school seeming rather depressed.

“What’s the matter son?” asked his mother.

“Aw, gee,” said the boy, “it’s my marks. They’re all wet.”

“What do you mean, 'all wet'?” she asks.

“I mean,” he replied, “well below C-level.”

A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked. “What’s the problem Carol? I hope it’s not homework again.”

“Well, uh, yes, it is,” replied Carol. “I was stupid and made my homework paper into a paper airplane.”

“Carol, you’re right, that wasn’t a very bright thing to do,” said the teacher, “but this once I’ll let you just unfold the paper and hand it in.”

“Oh, but that won’t work,” said Carol, looking even sadder. “You see, the plane was hijacked