Latest Jokes

What did the fish say on seeing the wall?

Dam!

I have lost my mind!

And I'm pretty sure my kids took it!

On one particular Sunday, the pastor was giving a sermon on the importance of everyone giving their tithes and offerings. He went on to challenge the people to give enthusiastically because 2 Corinthians 9:7 says in it that "God loves a cheerful giver."

As the plate was passed, a little boy in the second pew, quickly slipped off his neck tie and placed it into the offering plate. His mother, somewhat embarrassed, asked him what he thought he was doing.

The boy replied, "The pastor said put your ties in the offering plate and do it joyfully. So I did!"

A tired minister was at home resting, and through the window he saw a woman approaching his door. She was one of those too-talkative people, and he was not anxious to talk with her. He said to his wife, "I'll just duck upstairs and wait until she goes away."

An hour passed, then he tiptoed to the stair landing and listened ... not a sound. He was very pleased, so he started down calling loudly to his wife, "Well, my Dear, did you get rid of that old bore at last?"

The next moment he heard the voice of the same woman, and she couldn't possibly have missed hearing him. Two steps down, he saw them both staring up at him. It seemed truly a crisis moment.

The quick-thinking minister's wife answered, "Yes, Dear, she went away over an hour ago. But Mrs. Jones has come to call in the meantime, and I'm sure you'll be glad to greet her."