Latest Jokes

Today we'll let a member of the class lead the discussion. It will be a good educational experience.
(I stayed out too late last night and didn't have time to prepare a lecture.)

The gist of what the author is saying is what's most important.
(I don't understand the details either.)

The test scores were generally good.
(Some of you managed a 'C'.)

Some of you could have done better.
(Everyone failed.)

It's been very rewarding to teach this class.
(I hope they find someone else to teach it next year.)

A Quaker farmer was milking his cow when she switched him in the face with her tail. He patiently said, "Cow, thou shalt not do that."

He kept milking until she kicked and sent the half-filled milk pail tumbling across the barn, spilling and ruining the milk. The farmer went around to face the cow and took her horns in his big, calloused hands.

He looked at her and said, "Cow, thou knowest that I am a Quaker and that I cannot strike thee. But cow, thou also must also remember that I can sell thee."

A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q. 20 points. After a battery of physical and psychological tests, the center's director told him that he was an acceptable candidate.

"That's great!" the executive said. "But I understand that this procedure can be really expensive?"

"Yes, sir, it can," the director replied. "An ounce of accountant's brain for example, costs one thousand dollars. An ounce of an economist's brain costs two thousand. An ounce of a corporate president's is forty-five thousand. And an ounce of a politician's brain is seventy-five thousand dollars."

"Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a politicians brain? Why on earth is that?"

"Do you have any idea," the director asked, "how many politicians it takes to get an ounce of brain?"