Latest Jokes

The professor of a university was extremely busy explaining something important with regard to his subject to the students when a girl belonging to the same class arrived late at the door and said, "May I get in, sir?"

"Don't you think you're terribly late today?" said the angry professor to the girl.

The girl then said, "When I was coming to college, a boy was following me, sir."

"I hope he hasn't stalked you. Yet, why did you get late?" demanded the professor.

Without a moment hesitation the girl replied, "But, he was walking slowly, sir."

The Dentist's Hymn: Crown Him With Many Crowns
The Weatherman's Hymn: There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
The Contractor's Hymn: The Church's One Foundation
The Tailor's Hymn: Holy, Holy, Holy
The Golfer's Hymn: There is a Green Hill Far Away
The Politician's Hymn: Standing On The Promises
The Optometrist's Hymn: Open My Eyes That I May See
The IRS Agent's Hymn: I Surrender All
The Gossip's Hymn: Pass It On
The Electrician's Hymn: Send Out Thy Light
The Shopper's Hymn: Sweet By And By

For those of you who drive, if you must speed on the highway, please sing these......

45 mph: God Will Take Care Of You
55 mph: Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah
65 mph: Nearer My God To Thee
75 mph: Nearer Still Nearer
85 mph: This World Is Not My Home
95 mph: Lord, I'm Coming Home
Over 100 mph: Precious Memories

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.

The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there.

Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.

The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin', there's no paper on this side either!"