Latest Jokes

His girlfriend had just learned to drive the car and now they were out in the suburbs racing along over seventy. “Doesn’t speeding over the beautiful country make you glad you are alive?” she asked.
“Glad?” He raised an eyebrow. “Glad in not the word for it. I’m amazed.”

A man put in 10 puns for a pun contest, hoping that at least one of them would win. But sadly, no pun in ten did.

Q: Why did the duck cross the road?
A: Because the chicken retired and moved to Florida!

A man shows up for his doctor's appointment with a piece of celery in each ear and a carrot in each of his nostrils. He says to the doctor, "Doc, I'm not feeling well." Whereupon the doctor replied," Perhaps you're not eating right."