Latest Jokes

An old, stingy lawyer was dying and was determined to prove wrong the old saying, "You can't take it with you". He told his wife to go down to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases.

His plan: Put the bags directly over his bed and when he died grab them on his way up to heaven. One day the old ambulance chaser died. When his wife was up cleaning in the attic one day, she came across the forgotten pillowcases.

She then said to herself, “That old fool. I knew he should have had me put them in the basement!"

Two women ran into the court of King Solomon, fighting. "My daughter was to marry this man, but this woman claims that the man was to marry HER daughter!" one of them yelled. "There is a simple solution," said the King. "I shall cut the man in two and each of your daughters can have a piece." "Fine by me!" said the first woman. "No, don't, I would rather let the other girl marry him than that!" cried the second. The King didn't hesitate for a minute. "Fine." he said. "The first woman my have him." "What?" protested the other? "She wanted him cut in two!" "Indeed." said the king. "She shows the true spirit of a mother-in-law!"

One cold winter day a boy was standing out side a shoe store praying to God for some socks or some shoes. Just them a lady walks up to him and says, "Is there something that I can help you with?" He looks down at his feet,and says "well, I would like some shoes."
She grabs his hand and takes him in to the shoe store. She asks for a dozen pair of socks and a pair of shoes. They sit down; get the socks and shoes on. As the woman is getting up to leave, the boy says thank you, and she tells him that if he ever needs anything else, to not to be afraid to ask. So he asks, "Are you Gods wife?"

Two brooms fall in love and decide to get married. At the reception, the bride broom wants to dance with the groom broom. While dancing, the bride broom tells the groom broom, "I want us to have a little whiskbroom." The groom broom replies to the bridebroom, "We can't, we haven't swept together yet."