Latest Jokes

An elderly couple stood before the family court judge after a long divorce trial. The judge asked why they wanted a divorce after having been married for nearly 70 years. They answered:" We wanted to wait, till after the kids had died".

A man goes into a bar and orders double bourbon. He takes a sip of the drink and says to the bartender: "I shouldn’t be drinking this with what I’ve got." The bartender says: "What have you got".

The man replies: "30 cents".

When a man with nine children was asked how he handled illness among his children, he said, "When the first born coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When the last one swallowed a quarter, I told him that it was coming out of his allowance!"

One day Bin Laden went to a fortuneteller and asked her when will I die. She replied: You will die on an American holiday. So he asks which American holiday and she says it doesn’t matter. When you die it will be an American holiday.