A mother walks into her own bedroom and is surprised to catch her 10 year old daughter reading her diary. Startled, she just stands there.

"You were right mom," says the daughter. "Reading is fun."

Victim: "Hey, that wasn't the tooth I wanted pulled!"

Dentist: "Calm yourself, I'm coming to it."

First Assistant: "So what dimensions do the doors, hinges, walls, and locks need to be so that everything fits?"

Person who invented the first public bathroom stall: "Ah, don't worry about that. Can't stress enough how unimportant that part is."

I went to the zoo.

There was only ONE exhibit in the entire zoo.

It was a Shih Tzu.