I went to visit my elderly grandmother.

I'll never forget her last words before she kicked the bucket.

She said, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?

"Thanks, I’ll never part with it!"

A waiter places a warm cup in front of the gentleman. The gentleman takes a sip and spits it out.

He turns to the waiter and says, “Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!”

The waiter, looking surprised, turns to the gentleman and says, “But, sir, you asked for fresh ground!”

"Do you know why you've never see an elephant hiding up in a tree?"

"No, why?"

"Because they’re really good at it."