Mr. Wimple was suing for divorce.

"Then judge," he protested, "my wife hit me over the head with an oak leaf."

"Well, that couldn't have hurt you, surely," the judge commented.

"But it was the oak leaf from the center of the dining room table," answered Mr. Wimple.

While on a field trip to a local petting zoo Little Johnny breathlessly rushed up to his teacher and shouted out, "Teacher, teacher, I just saw a man making a horse!"

"Oh, Johnny, are you sure?" asked the teacher.

"Of course," said Johnny, "they were tacking on his feet as I walked by!"

Mr. Maxey was visiting his lawyer to discuss how unreasonable his wife was being.

Lawyer: "What were you and your wife fighting about this time?"

Mr. Maxey: "I pointed out that she was trying to drive a nail in the wall with a hair brush. Is this any reason to get mad?"

Lawyer: "Is that all you said?"

Mr. Maxey: "Well, I just suggested that she would have better luck using her head."

Landlord: "I want you to pay your rent."

Struggling artist: "Let's discuss this. In a few years people will look up at this miserable studio and say, 'Truman Jones, the famous artist, use to work here.'"

Landlord: "If you don't pay your rent by tonight, they'll be able to say it tomorrow."