Favorite this joke Lately my wife looks at me like I’m just a piece of meat...
And it wouldn’t bother me if she wasn’t a vegan.
My teenage son asked me if I ever fell in love with a high school teacher.
"In fact, I did. She was gorgeous! I couldn't take my eyes off of her... I dreamt of a life together with her day and night."
"Wow! What happened with that, dad?" he excitedly asked.
"Your mom moved you to another school."
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Me: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
8 yr old nephew: "To get to the idiot's house."
Me: "Oh... uh... yeah, good one, haha."
8 yr old nephew: "Wanna hear another one? Knock knock..."
Me: "Who's there?"
8 yr old nephew: "The chicken."
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
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