Me: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

8 yr old nephew: "To get to the idiot's house."

Me: "Oh... uh... yeah, good one, haha."

8 yr old nephew: "Wanna hear another one? Knock knock..."

Me: "Who's there?"

8 yr old nephew: "The chicken."

Cockroaches are found to be capable in surviving a nuclear holocaust, yet one swat with a newspaper and it would die.

Shows how toxic the media is.

My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again.

MAN, I sure am LUCKY!

I mean, first I win the lottery and now THIS!!!

Why do people hate getting up early in Athens?

Because Dawn is tough on Greece.