aod318 Profile

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aod318

User Details

Member Since : May, 2021
# of jokes posted : 112
# of followers : 0
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 7
Location: United States
won: $ 183.00
1 votes

A robber breaks into a house and ties up the woman and man.

The robber asks where the jewels are and the guy responds with: "I'll give you everything! Please, let her go..."

Robber: "I only care about the jewels! I won't hurt you if you give me what I want..."

Guy: "I BEG you, let her go!"

Robber: "Wow, you must really love your wife..."

Guy: "What? Oh no, my wife is about to get home!"

1 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "aod318" |
$25.00 won 3 votes

Man (to his boss): "Can we talk? I have a problem."

Boss: "Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!"

Man: "Ok then, I have a serious drinking opportunity."

3 votes

CATEGORY Work Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "aod318" |
1 votes

A U.S. Marine General was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the General decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was “work” and how much of it was “pleasure.”

A Major chimed in with 75%-25% in favor of work.

A Captain said it was 50%-50%.

A Lieutenant responded with 25%-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.

There being no consensus, the General turned to the Private First Class who was in charge of making the coffee and asked for his opinion.

Without any hesitation, the young Private First Class responded, “Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure.”

The General was surprised and as you might guess, asked why?

“Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them.”

1 votes

CATEGORY Military Jokes
posted by "aod318" |
$12.00 won 4 votes

"You're beautiful and I love you!" I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff.

My echo replied, "I just want to be friends!"

4 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "aod318" |