A man went into a bookstore and complained...

“I bought this book from you yesterday, 'Cowards in History' and all the pages fell out!"

The sales assistant said, “That’s because it has no spine.”

A computer once beat me at chess...

But it was no match for me at kickboxing!

A psychiatrist congratulated his patient on making such good progress.

”You call this progress?” snapped the patient. ”Six months ago, I was Abraham Lincoln. Now I’m a nobody!”

Seeing a homeless guy begging on the street, a woman took pity on him and gave him a handful of change.

“Thank you,” said the homeless man. “Your generosity is much appreciated. You know my life used to be great, but just look at the state of me now.”

“How do you mean?” asked the woman.

“Well,” he explained. “I was a multi-millionaire. I had bank accounts all over the world with hundreds of thousands of dollars deposited in each.”

“So where did it all go wrong?” she asked.

The homeless man sighed, “I forgot my mother’s maiden name.”