John: Ants really work hard. They work and work and never play.
Peter: Then how come every time I go for a picnic, THERE they are?
What can you break without touching?
Teacher: What's 5 plus 3?
Student: Um... I don't know?
Teacher: You silly boy, it is 8.
Student: Wait... yesterday you said that 4 and 4 was 8?!?!
"What would you like for your birthday?"
"Nothing would make me happier than a guitar!"
"Great, I'll get you nothing then."