Husband: Today is our wedding anniversary, where do you want me to take you?

Wife: Take me some place I have never seen before!

Husband: Then I shall take you to the kitchen!

"If you put your hand in your right pocket and found 25 rupees, and put your hand in the left pocket and found 50 rupees, what would you do?"

"I would immediately rush to my tailor and ask him to stitch more pockets on my trousers!"

A patient came to the hospital with a burned right hand. As the doctor took down his medical history, he asked the injured man, “Do you smoke?”

“Yeah, a pack and a half a day,” said the patient.

Concerned, the doctor told him, “You should consider quitting.”

“No, it’s OK,” said the patient. “I smoke with my left hand.”

What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?

An Independ-ant.