Wife: "Last night I had a dream that you bought me a pearl necklace."

Husband: "Wow, that's great! Tonight when you go to sleep, you can put it on."

Friend: "You shouldn't be gambling. One day you may win but you will lose the next day. The following day you may win again but the very next day you may lose."

Me: "Oh, I hear you! But don't worry, I will not be gambling daily... only on alternate days!"

What did the magician say when he made the rabbit disappear?

Hare today, gone tomorrow!

Wife: "You remember when you bought me this blue dress?"

Husband: "I don't remember."

Wife: "It was on my birthday! And this red gown?"

Husband: "On your birthday?"

Wife: "No... on our anniversary! Don't you remember?"

Husband: "Honey, I'm not good at remembering colors or dresses. I better at remembering prices, those I remember very well!"