Uncle Jack drove up to the drug store in high distress. He stamped into the store, talking to himself.
"Are you the fresh young fellow that sold me this this stuff yesterday and told me it was toothpaste?" Uncle Jack inquired of the clerk.
"Yes sir," replied the clerk.
"Well, this morning I tried for half and hour, and I'll be darned if it would make my teeth stick in!"
In the daily briefing for the weather the weather man suggested with 100% certainty that the forecast for the afternoon call for heavy rains.
Assistant: "Are you positive, sir?"
Weatherman: "Yes indeed. I've lost my umbrella, I got my car washed on the way in, I'm going golfing, and my wife's giving a lawn party."
Two deer hunters hired a pilot to take them way back into the forest. After the hunt, the pilot returned and saw that they shot six deer.
"The plane won't carry six deer, you'll have to leave two of them," said the pilot, trying to be friendly.
Unwilling to leave their dead deer, the hunters said "We got six on the plane last year."
The pilot gave in, and just five minutes after takeoff the plane crashed into the forest. Lucky to be alive, one of the hunters said, "Any idea where we are?"
The second hunter said, "Yeah, right about where our plane went down last year."