My husband made me mad today so I poured some water in front of the washer.

He’s been in there for 2 hours trying to fix the washer.

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed everything down and cleaned thoroughly.

Today I’m putting a cockroach in the bathroom.

The Judge said to the defendant, "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again?"

"Your Honor," the criminal said, "that's what I tried to tell the police but they wouldn't listen."

My husband calls me the bomb...

Not sure if it’s because I’m super attractive or because I might go off any minute!