A famous model is going on a vacation in Africa. She takes her little bag dog Foofie along with her because she never went anywhere without her. As the model goes off exploring, Foofie wanders away on her own and soon gets lost; the little dog becomes very scared, looking all around her for any familiar sights, upon which she suddenly sees a leopard ready to pounce!

Noticing a pile of bones nearby, Foofie strolls over and begins chewing on one of the bones. "Mmm, what a tasty leopard. I wonder if there's another one around." The leopard immediately turns pale and runs fearfully back into the jungle. A monkey, who had happened to see everything, climbs down from a branch and whispers in the leopard's ear; furious, the leopard begins storming back out with the monkey on his back.

Upon seeing the leopard returning, Foofie knows what must have happened and quickly begins looking all around. "Where is that monkey? I told him to bring me another leopard hours ago but he never came back."

Today I scared the mailman by going to the door in my underwear.

I don't know what scared him more, seeing me in my underwear or the fact that I knew where he lived.

James comes home to find his wife Rachel sobbing bitterly. "Oh, Honey, I'm so sorry," she sniffles. "I was ironing your suit and went to answer the phone and ended up burning a big hole right in the seat of your pants!"

"There, there, darling," James replies, gently patting her shoulder. "All is well. I have another pair of pants to go with that suit."

"I know," Rachel sniffles. "I used them to patch the hole."

Barber, cutting a customer's hair: "Hmm, I see a few gray hairs."

Customer: "At the rate you're going, I'm not surprised."