Past Winners

Television repairman: "So, what seems to be the problem with your TV?"

Homeowner: "Well, it has double images. I hope the two of you can fix it."

What do you call a professional you hire to put someone down?

An Insultant.

I was reading the parable of the Good Shepherd to my little girl for her bedtime story. I got to the part about the Good Shepherd counting the 99 sheep, expecting to have 100, and getting ready to go out to find that one lost sheep.

Great bedtime story, great message about a father's infinite love, right?

Then my daughter asks, "Daddy, he was counting sheep, right? When he was counting those ninety-nine sheep, why didn't he fall asleep when he got to around number 20?"

How many parrots does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

They say “toucan do it.”