Past Winners

A man was walking home alone one night when he heard a "BUMP....BUMP....BUMP..." behind him. Walking faster, he looked back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him...."BUMP...BUMP...BUMP..."

The man began to run toward his home, and the coffin bounced after him faster....faster...BUMP BUMP BUMP!

He ran up to his door, fumbled with his keys, opened the door, rushed in, and locked it behind him. The coffin crashed through his door, with the lid of the coffin clapping BUMP...BUMP...BUMP... on the heels of the terrified man. The man rushed upstairs to the bathroom and locked himself in, heart pounding.

With a CRASH, the coffin broke down the door, coming slowly toward him. The man while screaming, reached for something, anything... all he can find was a box of cough drops which he hurled at the coffin.

Suddenly, the coffin stopped.

When the graveside service for his wife had just finished, there was a tremendous burst of thunder accompanied by a distant lightning bolt and more rumbling thunder.

The husband, a down-trodden little old man, looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there..."

Scientists have been studying the effect of cannabis on sea birds.

They’ve left no tern unstoned.

Little Johnny: "Hey Mom, tomorrow there's a small PTA meeting at school."

Mom: "A small PTA meeting?"

Little Johnny: "Yeah, just you, me and the principal."