Past Winners

A customer in a department store is offered a discounted suit by a salesperson. "But the arms and legs don't match," he says. "One arm and one leg is shorter than the other."

"That's why it's such a bargain," the salesperson replies. "But don't worry, if you just raise your left shoulder, bend your left knee and walk like this, no one will notice."

"Well.....okay."

The man then buys the suit; after putting in on in the changing room, he raises his left shoulder, bends his left knee, then proceeds to limp out of the store. As he walks down the street, two ladies notice him.

"Good Heavens," the first lady says. "That poor man looks like he's in a lot of pain!"

"Yes," the second lady says. "But his suit certainly fits well."

What did the dyslexic worm say to the voracious largemouth bass???

“Oh carp!”

So, let me get this straight...

You drive across town to a gym to walk on a treadmill?

You know what really makes me throw up?

A dartboard on a ceiling.