Past Winners

Sherry is walking through the zoo when she notices Bill throwing $10 bills in the monkey cage.

Curious, she walks closer and asks, "Bill, what are you doing? Why are you giving the monkeys money?"

"The sign by the gate says it was okay," he replies.

Sherry looks at him quizzically, "It did?"

"Yes, it said, 'Do not feed. $10 fine.'"

What do you call it when your mother's sisters all gather at a funeral to avenge your death?

Vigil Aunties

Every morning during our coffee break, my co-workers and I listened to the culinary disasters of a newlywed colleague. We then tried to share some helpful hints and recipes.

One day she asked us for step-by-step instructions on cooking sweet potatoes, one of her husband's favorites. "I've finally been able to make them sweet," she said, "but how do you make them orange?"

Guest to the waiter: "Can you bring me what the lady at the next table is having?"

Waiter: "Sorry, sir, but I'm pretty sure she wants to eat it herself."